What Becomes of Me
by artemis lecter
Summary: What if Spike had stayed to help Buffy in 'Becoming? Goes offcannon after 'Anne'. Rated for language only. UPDATED AGAIN!
1. Knight in Bloody Armor

Disclaimer: I own nothing! The brilliant and glorious Joss Whedon owns all.

NOTE: Willow never attempted to restore Angel's soul when she was in the hospital. This starts at the very end of Becoming, Pt. 2

* * *

"My God, he's gonna kill 'er," Spike muttered, holding Drusilla in his arms. He looked toward the door, fully realizing that the smartest and most beneficial thing for him to do would be to simply turn around and walk away. He had Dru. There was no reason for him to stay any longer. As he stared at the Slayer, however, he felt a little odd, like he would really regret it if he were to leave and let her die. He sighed heavily, and carefully set Drusilla down against a wall and made his way over to his sire and the Slayer. _I really hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass._

Buffy and Angelus were fighting, and Spike thought it was safe to say that Buffy was definitely losing. Poor chit was getting knocked around as if she was a mere rag doll, and Angelus was raising his sword to kill her. Spike walked over to the two warriors and tapped Angelus on the shoulder. Buffy's eyes widened slowly.

Angelus spun around, growling angrily. He snarled at Spike, clearly infuriated by the younger vampire's audacity. Spike grinned, glad that he had managed to piss off his sire.

"C'mon, Peaches," he said.

Angel turned to Buffy, seeing that she was momentarily incapacitated, although wide-eyed at Spike's interference. Angelus turned away from Buffy and raised his fist to fight Spike instead. Spike grinned toothily, raising his fists as well.

Angelus rushed him, connecting his fist solidly with Spike's jaw. Spike rolled with the punch, kicking Angelus in the gut. Angelus doubled over. Spike brought his knee up, kicking his sire in the face. Blood squirted from Angel's now-broken nose. Spike picked up a broken piece of wood to finish the job, but was suddenly tackled.

Apparently, Drusilla had regained consciousness. Her face was livid as she pummeled Spike; he didn't think he had ever seen her so angry. Part of him was proud of his girl.

Buffy had gotten up too, and had resumed her brawl with Angelus. She punched him in the face in quick succession, clearly enjoying finally being able to take out all of her anger and frustration that had been building up the last few months. She picked up a stake, but Angel knocked it out of her hand, still strong enough to fight back.

Drusilla punched Spike again, sending him hurling into a wall. She turned around and marched over to Buffy, grabbing the Slayer by the hair and pulling her backward. Buffy felt her scalp begin to bleed. Angelus looked pleased with Drusilla, and backed off to allow the crazed vampire to have some fun.

Drusilla hit Buffy hard, then punched her again in the stomach. The vampiress was so occupied with causing the Slayer pain for what she had put her Angelus through that she didn't see Spike coming.

Spike grabbed Drusilla by the shoulders, picking her up and throwing her into a wall. When she gasped and turned to dust less that five seconds later, Spike was shocked and confused- until he saw the wall, which had somehow gotten broken and had a sharp piece of wood protruding from it.

Tears welled up in Spike's eyes as realized what had happened. He had killed his lover of over a century. Hatred flooded Spike as he had never felt it, quickly replacing the pain, and he turned around to look at his sire, who didn't seem too bothered by the fact that Drusilla had just been staked. In fact, the older vampire grinned, clearly enjoying the agony he knew Spike was in. Spike stomped over to Angelus, pulling his fist back and hitting him as hard as he possibly could. Angelus grunted in pain, crimson liquid spilling out of his face again.

"Bloody bastard," Spike ground out, continuing to pummel Angelus a Buffy sat and stared at the two vampires, entranced. She didn't seem capable of moving from the spot in which she stood, too enveloped in the display before her.

"Couldn't leave well enough alone, could you?" Spike backhanded his sire again and again, thoroughly enjoying the torture he was inflicting upon Angelus. The blood was now continuously flowing down Angelus' face, leaving a pattern on the floor.

"All your bloody fault . . . if you had just listened, everything would have been fine," he continued to rant as he beat Angelus bloody. He grabbed the elder vampire's wrist and twisted, breaking it. He heard the loud snap the fracture produced. He loved the gasp of pain that came from the other vampire.

Spike picked up the sword that Buffy had dropped and rammed it into Angel's gut. The elder vampire gasped in pain, before Acathla's mouth opened to reveal a vortex, which Angel was enveloped into. Less that a second later, Angelus was gone.

Spike's adrenaline subsided, although the pain did not. He turned to look at Buffy, who was still standing frozen several feet away. Tears were streaming down her face as she stared at the spot where her former boyfriend had disappeared.

Spike walked to her, sympathy evident on his face. He had always admired the Slayer; she was a fierce warrior, capable of fighting just about anyone and anything. But now he saw her not as the Slayer- he saw her as a seventeen-year-old girl who had had to endure more hardships than any young girl should have to. She had just lost the love of her life, as he had. His heart went out to her; they were in the same boat, really.

"You wanna get out of here?" Spike asked quietly. Spike wasn't sure why he was offering—they hated each other. But it seemed like the right thing to do. They needed each other for now.

Buffy nodded, wiping away tears in an effort to pull it together. She wanted to be anywhere but here. It wasn't as though she was invited back to her mom's house, was it?

"Come on, pet," Spike said. "Let's get outta this Hellmouth."


	2. Remembering

Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing. Joss Whedon owns all, and no profit is being made from this work.

* * *

Buffy walked out of the diner with a frown on her face. It wasn't really the job that bothered her, though her boss certainly thought so. The pay sucked, and Buffy was definitely annoyed by the stupid old men who harassed her, but what really bothered her was the situation she was in. She was stuck in Los Angeles after fleeing from Sunnydale like a dog with its tail tucked, with almost no money and a crappy apartment. She felt insanely guilty; although she hadn't actually killed Angelus, she still felt responsible for his death. She had lost a large part of her life, in a few short seconds. She desperately missed her friends, though she thought her decision to stay away was a good one; they could never understand what she was going through. Her staying in Sunnydale would have meant more pain for everyone. Oddly enough, the only thing that comforted her was Spike.

He had been through a tough time himself, grieving over Drusilla. He blamed himself for being the cause of her death, much like Buffy thought herself to blame for Angel's. Buffy knew it hadn't really been his fault—her death had been an accident. And although Buffy loathed Drusilla, particularly for her part in Kendra's death, she was sad that Spike was in so much pain over it.

Buffy had tried to get Spike to talk about his feelings on the subject, but the only time he ever spoke of either Drusilla's or Angel's death was whenever Buffy broke down into sobs, which unfortunately she did often. He would wrap his arms around her and hold her to him, and for some strange reason, Buffy couldn't bring herself to push him away. She also refused to battle vampires anymore, cutting herself off completely from anything remotely related to her destiny. She wanted it to all go away. Following Kendra's death, a new Slayer would be called soon—she could take on the responsibilities of the Slayer. Buffy was done.

Spike, hiding from the sunlight in the decrepit apartment he shared with the Slayer, continued to brood on the death of his beloved Drusilla. He recalled how he kicked Angelus into the furniture that killed Dru, and how he blamed Angelus for her death. But truthfully, Spike was the reason she was dead. He had been so desperate to be ride of Angelus that he wasn't as cautious as he should have been. He thought about the years that he had spent with Drusilla, the places they had gone and the things they had done together. Visions of Dru naked and splattered with blood, and of her expression as she fed, crossed his mind. He heaved a sigh.

" Keep goin' on like this and I'll be just like Peaches," he said to himself, taking a drag off a cigarette.

And the funny thing? Buffy was the only comfort. Seriously, six months ago he dreamed of tearing her lungs out and using them as decorations for his bedroom. Now he was upset when she wasn't around because she was working at that damned diner. He understood her need not to slay, too; it was much like his desire to stay in the apartment instead of feeding. He hadn't fed off a human since they had arrived here; Buffy brought him blood every night instead.

Spike was still trying to understand why he had stopped and helped Buffy in the first place. She was supposed to be his mortal enemy, wasn't she? So why did he feel such a strong desire to protect her? He felt his heart shatter every time he saw tears in Buffy's eyes, and he would give anything to make her feel better. Maybe he just empathized with her a little too well.

He lied down on the bed and thought once more about Buffy. "Poor little chit," he said. She had gone through so much. Yet Spike was still glad Angelus was finished; it gave him a chance to get to know the Slayer. They weren't really friends, per se, but they understood each other. Spike honestly didn't know how he would function if he had to go through Drusilla's death alone, and he was glad he was there to help Buffy

* * *

Buffy walked away from the man a little uneasy. What a night. Lily had recognized her; she had moved here so that she could get **away** from everything having remotely to do with Sunnydale. And then she got hit by a car, and walked away without a scratch. Yeah, **there's** a way to be normal. And now she had some weird guy coming up to her talking about a place for runaways. Oh, the things she would give now for a vacation to the Bahamas . . .

She walked up the stairs of the apartment building and up the three flights of stairs to the one she shared with Spike. She saw him lying on his bed. She placed the blood she had gotten for him on her lunch break on the tiny table they had in the kitchen.

"Hey," she said softly.

He looked up at her and brightened a bit. "Hey love." He nodded his head toward the plastic container that held his dinner. "Thanks." Buffy nodded.

She looked around the room. It looked like hardly anything had been touched, except the television. He had been sitting there all day? She scrunched up her nose a bit; he had been smoking in here. She didn't bother saying anything about it.

Buffy sat down next to him on his bed and looked at the TV, trying to make it seem like she wasn't as uncomfortable as she was. This was Spike, for God's sake. She should be staking him, not watching T.V and living with him.

Spike noticed her unease. "How was work today, pet?" he asked, trying to relieve the tension in the room.

Buffy was grateful to see that he noticed how weird this was for her. "Same as always. Stupid guys trying to hit on you, crummy hours, crummy pay."

Spike chuckled. "Better than stayin' here, I reckon. Telly doesn't work right, couldn't even get Passions in." He scowled at this, clearly upset.

Buffy wrinkled her nose. "Passions? I remember my mom watching that . . ." she stopped; thoughts of her mother brought back thoughts of Sunnydale, and Angel. She remembered how she had simply walked out on her mother- she really should have given the poor woman the time to understand her daughter's place in the world. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she turned her head away slightly so that Spike wouldn't see her cry again. Too late.

"Love, come on, don't . . ." Spike tried. Buffy attempted to stifle a sob, to no avail. Spike pulled Buffy to his chest rocking slightly as she sobbed into his t-shirt. The Slayer apologized profusely for the waterworks.

"Don't be an idiot, love. It's fine. You just get some rest." He pulled her gently into a relaxed position on the bed and lay next to her, wrapping his arms around her tenderly. _This is ridiculous. I'm a vampire, for God's sake._

Buffy fell asleep after a few minutes of crying, head on his chest. Spike continuously stroked her hair in an effort to calm her. And he still wasn't sure why. _Bollocks. This is complicated. _


	3. Bugger It

Disclaimer: If you haven't figured out by now that I don't own any of the characters and they all belong to Joss Whedon, you really haven't been reading this story, so why are you at chapter three?

* * *

The next morning at the diner, Buffy was having very muddled thoughts. She recalled crying (alright, alright: sobbing uncontrollably) on Spike's shoulder last night, and falling asleep. She also recalled waking up sometime later, with Spike's arms still around her and him stroking her hair. Who knew that someone who was supposed to be so evil could be so kind to her?

Oh, for the love of God, this was **Spike!** This was the vampire that crashed Parent-Teacher Night so that he could kill her, who had gotten his head bludgeoned with an axe by her mother. This was the vampire whose girlfriend killed Kendra. But the less logical part of her brain was telling her that this was also the vampire who had comforted her during the time when she couldn't even face her friends. And ever since they had left Sunnydale, they had been so close . . . almost a little too close. It was kind of nice to have someone care about her like that again. She had missed it since Angel had turned.

She shook her head. No way was she considering being with Spike. The very thought made her angry with herself. She was supposed to hate him. She **did** hate him. Now she was livid. She even snapped at Lily a little more than she had intended to when she asked for help finding her boyfriend Ricky, but she was angry, and still getting over her memories of Angel. But at the look on Lily's face, she felt that she had no choice but to help her out.

* * *

"So what's this bird want again?" Spike asked her as they made their way to the blood bank. Buffy had gone to get Spike when she finally caved in to Lily's pleading to help her. She knew that if she had to do this, she had a better chance at finding Ricky if Spike were along, much as she hated having to drag Spike into this after her thoughts about him this morning. His senses were even better than hers were.

Lily had freaked out when she realized who Spike was; she screamed and ran behind Buffy and wouldn't calm down until Buffy explained that Spike was here to help. Lily kept glancing at Spike, as though waiting for him to turn on her and start snacking on her neck.

Spike, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. Ever since last night, he had been feeling more warmly toward the Slayer than usual. He knew that he shouldn't feel this way about her; he wasn't completely stupid, and in his mind feeling anything but total hatred for the Slayer should be punishable by staking to a vampire. But he knew, no matter what he tried to tell himself, exactly what this feeling was. He loved her.

Unfortunately, he was fairly certain that she hated him. She had every right to hate him, of course, after all the times he had tried to kill her and her friends. He had mercilessly hunted her down, aiming to make her his third killed Slayer. He couldn't do that anymore. He would give anything not to be here right now, not to have to think these thoughts in her presence. But she needed his help. Anything that would make her like him just a little more was good enough for him.

The blood bank being a bust, Lily went one way, and Spike and Buffy went another. The silence as they walked down an alley was eerie.

Spike decided to break it. "So . . . are you doin' alright?" he asked nonchalantly.

Buffy looked at him and saw something in his face. Worry?

"I'm alright. Just trying to get back in the swing of things." A beat. Then- "Thank you for helping me out last night, you know, in my moment of complete girlyness."

Spike chuckled. "Never a problem, love." Then he thought. There had been some things he had been meaning to tell her, especially after last night. _Shouldn't do this. She'd freak out_. _Bugger it._

He cleared his throat. "Er . . . Buffy . . . I hope you know that . . . uh . . ." **Why **was this so difficult? Just tell her, you bloody git, and get it over with!

Buffy looked at him nervously. Anything that made Spike jumpy could not **possibly** be good. "What, Spike?"

He tried again. "I just wanted you to know that . . . well, I plan on being here for you if you need me, pet."

Buffy laughed a little at that. "Spike, thanks, but really, I don't need your help. And if I were you, I wouldn't say that so loudly. Your vamp friends might think you're in love with me or something." She turned and started to walk away.

_Just jump right in with both feet, mate. _He took a breath. "And what if I am?"

Buffy stopped cold. **What the hell? **Spike could hear her take a ragged breath. Uh-oh. He watched her hands. Hopefully she'd give some sort of warning if she were going to punch him.

"What the hell did you just say?" Buffy asked slowly. Spike prepared himself for the worst.

"I said I love you, Buffy." He watched her facial expression go from confused to horrified. _Not good, not good, not good . . . _

Buffy shook her head. "No. No you don't. You can't," she babbled

Spike gave a miniscule chuckle at that. "Beg to differ, love. I can. And I do. And don't look at me like that. It's not so unusual."

"No, actually, it is **very **unusual. Spike, you're a vampire! You don't have a soul. You can't love without a soul."

Spike looked wounded at that. "Angel was a vampire! How long were you with him?"

"Angel was good. You aren't," was her reply.

Spike scoffed. "Yeah love, Angel was a good guy alright, up until he got his soul taken away and started killing off all your friends."

Buffy looked hurt at that and looked at the ground, but not before Spike could see the tears in her eyes. He immediately regretted everything he said. "Love, I didn't mean that . . ." _Stupid git, what did you bring that up for?_

Buffy held up her hand to stop him. "No. That's enough. I'm going." She turned away again and started to walk off.

Spike tried to follow her. "Buffy, wait . . ." He grabbed her arm. Livid, she turned around and, with all the strength of the Chosen One, lifted him off the ground and hurled him into the nearest wall. Then she stormed off.

* * *

_Who the hell does he think he is, anyway? He can't possibly love me . . . Should have known better than to trust a vampire. Again.  
_She rolled her eyes; this was getting a little ridiculous.

Her thoughts were cut short when she saw the old man's body in the alley. She couldn't think much of anything when she realized that it was Ricky.

* * *

Walking back to the apartment, Spike was fuming. How dare she? He confessed his feelings to her, and yet she threw it back in his face like it was nothing. Typical. _Women!_

He was almost to his apartment when he realized that he had to go back and make her see sense. He wasn't a quitter; he was William the Bloody, scourge of Europe! He would **make **her see reason. Teach the bitch to walk away from him like that . . .

Buffy, meanwhile, was on her way to Family Home, after realizing that that was where all of this evil was coming from. She was trying desperately not to think of Spike; it might deter her from the job she had to perform right now. _Slay now, be pissed off at Spike later._

Spike followed Buffy's scent to Family home, and got there about two minutes after she did. Just in time to see Buffy, Lily, and some demonic dude in bad need of a facial get sucked into a pool in the floor. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

_Oh, bugger. _


	4. Party Crasher

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Stop rubbing it in. No profit is being made from this work.

* * *

_Son of a bitch._ Thoughts raced through Spike's head as he contemplated what to do. Get her back, yeah, but how? He was pretty damn stupid, but not so much that he would just jump into a hole in the floor that leads to God-knows-where. But coming up with no better plan, he jumped right in after her.

* * *

Buffy stood in line watching the people around her announce that they were no one. They did it so easily. Well, she supposed she would too, if she didn't know she could fight back. The fact that Ken was the bad guy didn't even really come as a surprise; it's always the seemingly nice, happy ones. But to see the others give in, after such a short time, made her sick down to her stomach. Didn't they want to fight back?

She didn't really see a way out—no windows or doors, other than the one she and the others had come through. She had no clue as to how they were going to get out of here. The door was too heavily guarded, and with the other prisoners so ready to give up their independence and freedom, there was no way she could get them all out. At this point, she thought that she might very well die in here, wherever the hell "here" was. Oddly, she found her thoughts turning to Spike. She wondered, if she had the chance to do it all over again, if she might be even a little bit nicer to him. She doubted it; it seemed to come as a second nature to her to be a bitch to Spike, no matter how nice he was to her. Why did she do that? Wasn't she thinking about him earlier that day, pondering her relationship with him? Well, if you could call it a relationship . . . mainly it was a confused pair of people trying to figure out where they fit in the world. Shouldn't that make them bond a little more, since they were pretty much in the same boat here?

She turned her thoughts to how to get out of there, and was just coming up with a distraction when she saw him. Not very well, but she saw the flash of his signature leather duster and peroxide blonde hair. Spike was here to help her. She grinned.

Ken was just approaching her when Spike started walking out towards him. "Who are you?' Ken asked her.

"Well, now, that's not very nice. New guest to the party and you don't even pay attention to 'im," Spike said before she could answer, with his cocky grin in place.

Ken blanched. "Who the hell are you?"

Spike rolled his eyes. "**Now **he asks. Little slow on the uptake, mate. Although, if you'd ignored me, I can't say I would have minded too much, as it would have given me an excuse not to look at you. You ever heard of facelifts? " Then, without further ado, Spike threw a right hook at Ken's face. Caught off guard, Ken fell to the floor, where Spike proceeded to kick him repeatedly in the ribs, audibly cracking several. Buffy took this as her chance to lead the rest of the prisoners around to where Spike had come in. She wrenched open an iron gate she has missed before and saw them all to safety. Then, after hurriedly assuring Lily that she would be alright, she turned back to help Spike.

It didn't really look like he needed it. He had stopped kicking in Kens ribs and instead had gone to work on his face. Blood spurted everywhere as Spike pounded Ken's head into the floor. Buffy cleared her throat.

"Uh, Spike? You think you could maybe kill him now?" she asked impatiently.

Spike looked sheepish, even through his demonic face. "Er, yeah, hang on." He looked around for a weapon to use. He spotted a shovel lying in the corner. Spike grabbed it and brought it up over his head and down, so that the shovel went through Ken's throat. Buffy stared at the now-decapitated Ken.

"Okay. Gross."

Spike looked at her. He suddenly remembered why he had come after her in the first place. Lacking the ability to yell at her right this moment, he did the next thing that came to mind. He pulled her to him roughly and kissed her. He held his hands on her slender hips. _God. _She was amazing.

Buffy was startled a little at first, but slowly eased into the kiss. After about ten seconds, however, a new thought pierced her mind and she broke away. Spike looked at her in wonder- how could she just stop like that? Seemed enjoyable enough to him- and got ready to confront her about it when he saw the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Buffy, love, what's wrong?" He gently brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

She took a minute to gather her thoughts as to what the hell she was going to say. Then, taking a slow breath, she started. "It's just . . . how am I supposed to do this? I just lost Angel. I don't think I'm ready to do this. I can't lie to you and say that I don't feel anything for you, but I can't say that I've just forgotten about him either. How am I supposed to pretend that everything that happened in the last year didn't happen?"

Spike took that in. He searched in his mind for something to say, but everything he thought up seemed too harsh. Finally he settled for "I'm not asking you to forget 'im. But he's gone. There isn't really a whole lot of sense in waiting around for him forever if he ain't comin' back. And I'm righ' here. Just gimme a shot? We could make somethin' work here. I love you, Slayer. And no one understands you better than I do." He was almost pleading with her now, begging her to accept him. He wasn't sure when he had fallen in love with her, but he knew what love felt like. He felt the same for Buffy as he had for Dru after a century.

Buffy thought about it. It was true, they seemed to get along rather well. And he couldn't deny that he definitely understood more about her, like her Slaying. Even Angel had never gotten that the way he did. And for whatever reason, he cared about her. Even after only a few weeks of being together, that much was obvious.

"What about my friends? They'll stake you on sight," she said. Although she doubted very much that any of her friends could kill him, she didn't want to lose the only people who had stood by her since her move to Sunnydale.

Spike shrugged. "We'll take care of it. If they care about you as much as I think they do, they'll realize how happy I can make you." He could see her breaking down now, saw that hopeful look cross her face. "You know you want me." he said with his famous smirk on his face.

That made her laugh. "God, you're a pig, Spike." Then she looked at him again. He looked so sincere. She thought about it and made up her mind. "Can we go back to Sunnydale now?"

"'Course, love." He looked around the dang room they were in skeptically. "I've seen crypts that look better." He took her hand gently, pulling her toward the exit.

* * *

A/N: Please review!


	5. Reunion?

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Thanks for bringing it up. Really.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! I had planned to make this the last chapter, but it would have taken forever, so there should be at least one more after this. Please review!

Spike and Buffy sat in the living room of Buffy's mother's house quietly. Joyce had been overjoyed at the return of Buffy, but now she was a little nervous about how to act around her daughter. So much was still unclear to Joyce about her daughter, for example, the question "What the hell is a Slayer?" kept coming to mind. Right now she was in the kitchen; apparently she had to do some dishes, but Buffy knew that she was really just needed time to get her thoughts sorted out.

Admittedly, Joyce was also a little wary of Buffy's new relationship with Spike. But after a few days, it became very clear to Joyce that they cared for each other; Spike could almost read Buffy's mind, and they understood each other's moods and emotions. They had been together a week or so and already they looked like they had been dating for years.

Spike turned to look at Buffy. "You think she's alright with this?" He made a gesture between himself and Buffy to indicate that he was talking about their relationship.

Buffy looked back at him. "Honestly? I think she's still getting used to the idea of there being an 'us'. I mean, it's only been a few days since we got back. I seem to recall our last time together in her presence being filled with death threats."

"I just hope she's alright with this. I really like your mum." Spike said worriedly.

"Well, you can be an asshole, but I'm sure she'll get used to you soon enough."

Spike chuckled. "Thanks, pet, love you too."

"We should probably go to see Giles tonight. He doesn't even know I'm back."

"Why didn't you call him?" Spike asked. Buffy had missed Giles, as much as she missed her friends, and yet she hadn't called any of them.

Buffy looked towards the kitchen and her mother. "I really wanted to spend some time with Mom. She was really worried about me. I guess I was just trying to make myself feel less guilty."

Spike nodded, then got up and went to talk to Joyce. Ten seconds later, he returned to the living room. "Get your coat, love. We're gonna go over to the Watcher's place."

Spike and Buffy walked down the street, Buffy nervously toying with the stake in the pocket of her leather jacket.

"Knock it off, love. You'll be fine. I thought you said the hardest part was going to be when you talked to your mum again," Spike said, putting his arm around Buffy.

Buffy remembered that conversation. When Spike was driving them back to Sunnydale, Buffy had told him about how scared she was to see her mother, even more so than she was about seeing her friends again ("Don't blame you, love," Spike had said. "You're mum is a right scary woman.").

"I did. But Giles is my watcher," Buffy said. "He's gonna be so disappointed in me for running off like that. I'm the Slayer, remember? I'm supposed to be able to face anything, and I just took off. I don't know how I'm going to live with his expression." Spike grabbed her by the arm to stop her, and made her look him in the eyes.

"First off, pet," Spike said, irritated that she should think this way, "Giles might be a stuffy old git, but he'll still understand. It has nothing to do with you being the Slayer, 'cause let me tell you from experience that you are one hell of a Slayer. Toughest I've ever met. Second, you left because you were a girl going through an incredibly traumatic experience. I don't think I've ever known anyone with any more backbone. And Giles knows that, too." Spike ignored the fact that he was going to get the crap get kicked out of him when they got to Giles' house.

Buffy stared, dumbfounded, at Spike.

"What?" Spike asked, taking out a cigarette and leaning against a nearby tree.

"Wow," Buffy said finally. "You could take Dr. Phil's job in a heartbeat." Spike chuckled and continued walking.

They reached Giles' door. Buffy hesitated. Heaving a sigh, Spike stepped around her and knocked on the door loudly. Buffy glared at him.

"What?" Spike asked, putting his cigarette out on the porch. "It didn't look like you were gonna do it." Suddenly the front door opened.

A very tired-looking Giles had answered the door. He looked at Buffy, and it didn't seem to register in his brain who exactly was at his door. His eyes widened a second later, and he pulled Buffy into a tight hug. Spike could see tears in the Watcher's eyes.

Giles pulled back and looked down at Buffy. "Good to have you home, Buffy," he said after a moment. Then he seemed to notice the vampire standing on his front porch. Giles' eyes narrowed slightly.

"What are you doing here?" he asked coldly.

"He's with me," Buffy answered, cutting Spike off and intervening before things could get ugly. "Giles, he helped me. He saved my life."

Giles looked at Spike for another moment. Then he stepped back from the door and held it open.

"Come on in," he said. Spike raised his eyebrows in surprise. He was expecting a royal ass-kicking.

"Thanks, Rupert," Spike said, stepping into the house. Buffy looked gratefully up at Giles before following Spike inside.

Giles went into the kitchen and started making tea, while Buffy and Spike went into the living room. Buffy looked around and noted that nothing had really changed; Giles had gotten some new pillows for the sofa, and the bottles of scotch were a lot emptier than usual, but other than that everything was just as she remembered.

Giles came back out with the tea and set it in front of Buffy and Spike. He took a seat in the chair across from them and looked at Buffy, clearly expecting an explanation. Buffy took a deep breath and launched into her story of how Spike had helped her with Angel, and how they had gone to L.A together. When she was finished, Giles took a sip of his tea again. After a moment's pause, he spoke.

"It's good to have you home, Buffy. You do remember that, er, Spike has tried to kill you, and all of us, numerous times?"

Spike sighed. He knew that was going to come up sooner or later. Buffy, however, did not look away from Giles.

"Yeah, I know," she said. Giles nodded.

"So long as you remember that. I'm happy for both of you, then." Buffy gave a squeal and jumped up from the couch to hug Giles. Spike smiled.

Spike, Buffy and Giles chatted openly then, talking about all that had happened since the last time they had spoken. Giles looked much happier, and Spike was very pleased that his head had remained attached to his shoulders.

Eventually, Buffy looked at the clock and saw that it was getting late.

"Giles, we'd better go. I want to find Willow and Xander, and I still have to patrol at some point." Giles nodded and gave her a hug goodbye, nodding at Spike in farewell.

Spike and Buffy left the apartment. Buffy still had a huge grin on her face, pleased that Giles had taken so well to her relationship with Spike. "Did you see him?" she asked Spike excitedly. Spike nodded and looked at Buffy. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her so happy (granted, they hadn't been together very long, but Spike felt like he knew Buffy pretty well by now).

"It's Friday; willow and Xander should be at the Bronze by now. We'll check there first."

The couple walked down an alley near the Bronze, looking for Buffy's friends. Buffy was anxious

Spike, as usual, could sense that Buffy was nervous about seeing her friends again. He didn't know which was worse for her; having to deal with what her friends might say about her running away, or thinking about what they are going to say about the fact that she was with him.

"You okay, love?" he asked Buffy.

Buffy turned to look at him. "I dunno. I guess I'm just nervous," she said, confirming Spike's thoughts. "It's just . . . how long have I known them? They might be a little pissed that I turned to you for help in stead of them. And Xander is gonna flip out when he finds out that I'm dating you."

Spike rolled his eyes. He never really liked the boy, and the fact that Xander was the cause of her distress made Spike dislike him even more. What kind of friend would judge her because of who she was with? The only reason Spike put up with the whelp was because he was one of Buffy's best friends.

"Don't worry about it, pet. He's one of your best mates. I'm sure everything will be just peachy keen—" Spike stopped. He and Buffy had just seen a vampire. Buffy started towards it, but stopped.

Because someone else had already tackled it.

Willow, Xander, Oz and Cordelia quickly dusted the vampire and turned around, expecting to have to explain to some poor civilian what had just happened. Instead, they saw Buffy, and like Giles, it took them a moment to register who she was. Xander came to his senses first and went forward to embrace her.

"Welcome home, Buffster," he said, voice slightly muffled by her shoulder.

Oz raised his hand in greeting, and Willow looked like she was about to cry, but was fighting it very hard. Cordelia smiled slightly (though that was probably not so much due to having Buffy back than it was in relief that she wouldn't have to mess up her hair slaying vampires anymore).

Suddenly, Xander saw Spike standing by the wall in the alley. Xander, clearly thinking that Buffy hadn't spotted him yet, started toward him. Buffy saw where her friend was going and stepped in front of him. Xander stopped dead.

"What's up, Buff?" Xander asked, clearly confused.

Buffy shook her head. "I'm not letting you kill him, Xand."

Still confused, Xander asked "Why not?"

Buffy took a deep breath, looked back at Spike for support, and said "Because we're seeing each other."

"Uh, you mean like . . . ." Realization dawned on Xander.

"Not again!" Cordelia said, speaking to her for the first time. "Just when we get rid of one serial killer, you have to drag in another one?" she asked disgustedly.

"Hey! Standing righ' here!" Spike put in.

"Just how much do you expect us to put up with, Buffy? We already dealt with Angel, and he was at least good at the beginning. Now you decide to be with someone who has tried to kill us more times then I can count!"

"You do sort of have a talent for going for the dead guys," Oz added, speaking in a careful tone so as to not piss off the Chosen One.

Thus far, Willow had been silent, as if contemplating whether she was on Buffy's side of this or on what, in her mind, she called 'Xander's side'. Everyone else noticed her complete silence and looked at her.

"Wills, could you please talk some sense into her?" Xander asked his best friend.

Willow was quiet for another second or two. Then-- "I think we should trust Buffy."

Silence.

"WHAT?"

Xander had a look of complete rage. Cordelia looked as if she were more disgusted with Willow than Buffy. Oz looked like he was willing to listen to her, and Buffy beamed at her best friend gratefully. Spike continued to lean up against the wall, willing to intervene if necessary.

Xander turned away from Willow as though gathering his thoughts. When he turned back to Willow and opened his mouth, Cordelia beat him to say what he was thinking.

"You're both fucking crazy."

Willow looked stung at the harshness of Cordelia's tone. Oz, seeing this, looked at Cordelia and stood up for her. "That's a little harsh. She's entitled to her opinions."

Xander spoke up then. "What the hell are you thinking, Willow? Do you not remember everything that happened last year?"

That brought Willow back to her senses. "Alexander LaVelle Harris, of course I remember. I was there. And so was Buffy. Don't you think she learned her lesson? I think, after everything that we've been through together, that we can trust Buffy."

Xander thought about that. "I can't do this right now," he muttered. Xander turned around and walked away, Cordelia following him. Oz and Willow turned around and looked at Spike and Buffy. Willow walked over to her best friend and gave her a hug.

"Welcome home, Buff!" the redhead exclaimed.

Pulling back from Willow's embrace, Buffy made a face that looked like she had just swallowed a lemon. "Yeah, and what a welcome that was." She then acknowledged Oz. "Hey, Oz." Oz nodded. Buffy could tell that even though he sided with Willow, Oz was still a little skeptical about whether or not Buffy should trust Spike.

Willow looked sympathetically at Buffy. "Don't worry about Xander. He'll get over it. He just wants you to be careful. And does Cordelia's opinion really matter anyway?" Buffy smiled.

"Well, I can't really blame either of them," she said. "You guys must all still be freaked out about the Angel thing. To be honest, I am too. But I can't sit around forever going "My boyfriend is gone, my life is over". I'm happy with Spike."

Willow nodded. "I'm glad." She glanced over at Oz; they had a date, and she didn't want him to get mad. "We've gotta go. I'll call you later?" she asked.

"Definitely."

Willow turned to Spike. Thus far, he had said nothing, so that Buffy could have her moment with her pals. Now that the Slayer's best mate had turned to him, he was at a loss for what he was to say. Willow spared him the trouble, however; she didn't intend for him to speak.

"Listen up," Willow started. "I don't particularly like you. To be plainly honest, you make me want to scream for my mommy and then go hide under the bed. But I love Buffy, and she's my best friend. So for now, we're good." She paused. "But if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. Got me?"

Spike nodded vigorously.

"Good. See you guys later!" she said cheerfully.

When she and Oz were gone, Spike turned to Buffy.

"That is one bloody freaky chit."

A/N: Okay, any thoughts?


	6. Relieving Stress

Disclaimer: Wish I owned it.

A/N: I AM SO SORRY! It has taken me forever to get back online, but I now have regular access to a PC, so I should be able to finish off the story within the next two weeks (hopefully sooner). BIG thanks to those of you who have been keeping track of my updates—you guys are the only reason I continue.

You may also have noticed that the rating for the story has changed. This is because I had originally intended to add in a MUCH more mature scene, and have decided not to do so (sorry, guys). Now, on with the story!

Spike and Buffy walked down the alley, in the opposite direction willow and oz went. Buffy was biting her lower lip nervously. Spike was letting Buffy lead the way, although he knew exactly where she was going; where else would a Slayer go to relieve anxiety but the cemetery?

Spike looked over at Buffy as they reached the gate to the cemetery, wondering when she was going to tell him exactly what was on her mind. He hated it when he didn't know what she was thinking, and what with her being very unpredictable, he was going crazy.

Buffy finally got sick of trying to sort out her thoughts be herself.

"Y'know, what the hell is he thinking?" she exploded. Spike gathered that she was talking about Xander. "I mean, he's not my dad. Why should he get to tell me who I can and cannot be with? I never really complained about his being with Cordelia. Well, okay, I did a little bit, but that gives him no right to--" Spike held up his hand to stop her.

"Much as I hate to admit it, love, he's got a point. He just wants to make sure you're gonna be all right, and . . . well, if I were him, I wouldn't trust me either." He didn't like admitting, ever to himself, that he probably wasn't the best thing for Buffy.

Buffy looked at Spike and saw the battle he seemed to be having with himself. Her heart went out to him; he really did care about her.

"I know all of that. I just don't think he should have jumped all over you like that."

Spike grinned. "Think I'll reserve that job for you, kitten."

Buffy smacked him on the arm. "God, Spike, head in the gutter much?" Spike chuckled.

"Always, baby. And duck."

Buffy ducked, and Spike punched the vampire that had been coming towards them. Buffy got up and kicked the vamp square in the jaw, forcing him backward onto a broken fence. Buffy and Spike watched as the vampire exploded into a cloud of dust.

"Ding, dong, the vamp is dead," Buffy sang. Spike chuckled. He always had liked his girls weird.

They walked around the cemetery for another hour, searching for vampires, until Buffy started to show signs of tiredness. Spike argued with her about going home, wanting to make sure she got rest. Buffy finally gave in, yawning.

They walked into the house together, and assured Joyce that they were fine when she rushed over to check on her daughter. Apparently, knowing that her daughter was the Slayer made her incredibly overprotective, regardless of the fact that Buffy had been the Slayer for over three years.

Spike and Buffy trudged upstairs and into Buffy's room. Buffy had begun to worry about what she was going to do with Spike when she needed to change, but Spike strode over to her bed and picked up her pajamas and handed them to her, then walked out of her room until she had finished getting dressed. Spike wanted more than anything to be with her that way, but knew of what had happened between Buffy and Angel. He didn't want to push her, for which she was grateful.

Buffy climbed under the covers and shut out the lights. She looked around the room for Spike before she saw him heading for her desk chair. She rolled her eyes.

"Spike, get your butt over here."

Spike uncertainly walked over to Buffy's bed as she flipped the covers over and patted the bed in invitation. Spike had always slept on the floor, or been out on the couch. Spike removed his duster and lay down with her, taking her into his arms. For once, Buffy slept through the night.

A/N: I realize that this is extremely short; sorry. PLEASE review!


	7. Pep Talk

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

When Buffy woke up, the first thing she noticed was that there was someone else in her bed. She panicked slightly, before realizing that it was just Spike. She looked at him sleep, noting that his chest didn't rise and fall like it did when he was awake. She noted how peaceful he looked, almost angelic.

She thought back to last night. They had spent some real quality time together (alright, most people spent quality time with their partners by watching a movie or playing Scrabble, but she was a Slayer; it was perfectly normal for her version of 'quality time' to be going out to a cemetery at midnight to kill the undead). She had been a little nervous about inviting him to sleep in the same bed with her last night, expecting him to be a total as. His expression when she told him to lay down with her, however, had surprised her. He had looked almost nervous, and was very stiff when he held her, as though he was afraid that he was going to break her.

She got up and took the pink robe off the back of her bedroom door, putting it on and making her way to the bathroom for a shower. Twenty minutes later, she walked back into her room, wrapped in the bathrobe and drying her hair with a towel. She stopped in her tracks when she saw that Spike was sitting up in bed, smoking a cigarette. He looked up at her and raised an eyebrow at her lack of clothing. _Ass_, she thought. After a moment she continued drying her hair, trying to ignore him.

"Morning, love," Spike said, standing up to flick his cigarette ash out the window.

"Really wish you wouldn't smoke that in here," Buffy replied. Spike raised an eyebrow at her again, before rolling his eyes and tossing the rest of his cigarette out the window. _She goes out every night and hunts down vampires and yet she worries about a cigarette endangering her health_, he thought. He didn't mind so much, though; he considered himself lucky to be allowed into her bedroom. He wasn't about to bitch about anything.

Buffy went over to her dresser, getting out a pair of jeans and a black blouse, along with undergarnments. He forced himself to look away when she took out her bra and underwear. _You want her to think you're a perverted git?_ When he looked back, Buffy was already walking out the door into the bathroom again to change. Spike heaved a huge sigh and plopped down on the bed, practically growling in frustration.

Spike had been terrified the previous night. He knew Buffy pretty well by now, and he had known for a while that she could take care of herself. But he worried about upsetting her emotionally; she was much better now, but she was still very fragile when it came to anything that reminded her of Angel. She never mentioned it anymore, but every time something came up that might remind her of her ex she got a look in her eyes that broke his unbeating heart. He didn't mention the fact that he loved anymore, either. The last time he had told her how he felt about her was before they fought Ken. He wanted more than anything to be able to tell her he loved her again, and make her believe it, but he didn't know how to do so without upsetting her.

Buffy came back into the room, fully dressed. Spike, desperate to not make things awkward, tried to make civil conversation.

"What are you doin' today?" he asked. Buffy shrugged.

"Not going to school; I'm expelled. I think Willow and I might go out later on after she gets her homework done. Until then, maybe I'll hang with my mom." Seeing the dejected look on Spike's face, she backpedaled. "Of course, I don't think she'll have a problem if you were to tag along. I don't see us going out anywhere. We might just rent a movie or something."

"Your mum doesn't like me very much, pet."

"She just doesn't know you very well. She'll get used to you."

Spike shrugged. "Alright . . . just don't make me watch another one of those bleedin' chick flicks."

Three hours later, Spike, Joyce, and Buffy were sitting on the couch, eating popcorn and watching _Gone with the Wind._ Spike had his arm across Buffy's shoulders on the couch, and was trying not to growl and roll his eyes. He hadn't liked this movie the first time he saw it when it came out in 1939, and he certainly didn't like it now.

Joyce tried to pay attention to the movie, but found herself looking at her daughter and her new . . . boyfriend, for lack of a better term. It was obvious, at least to her, that Spike cared very much for Buffy. She felt bad that she was so protective over Buffy; she knew that Spike was uncomfortable around Joyce because of her behavior. She looked over at Buffy, and was pleased to note that her normally tense daughter was very relaxed in the arms of the bleached vampire. Joyce settled back on the sofa, content.

Around six o'clock, Buffy called Willow.

"Hello?" Willow picked up the phone.

"Hey Wills."

"Buffy! Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing much. What are you doing later on tonight?" Buffy was slightly nervous; she hadn't seen Willow for more than ten minutes in four months. She didn't want to intrude on any plans she might have had.

"Nothing much. Want to go to the Bronze?"

Buffy was grateful that her friend had asked her first. She had the suspicion that Willow knew what she was going through. Buffy opened up her mouth to accept, then thought of something.

"Do you think Xander is going to be there?"

"He won't be. He and Cordelia have a date tonight; it's Cordy's birthday." Buffy had forgotten all about that. She didn't imagine how she could have spaced that out. Willow and Cordelia's birthdays were a week apart, with Cordy's coming first.

"Alright. Um . . . think it would be. . .um . . ." Buffy searched for the words to explain, without making her best friend feel unwelcome. Willow beat her to it.

"Bring Spike, and I'll bring Oz. He doesn't have an issue with you and Spike."

"Are you sure? He didn't seem to have any problems last night, but then again he's always monosyllabic. It's hard to tell exactly what he's thinking," Buffy said, once again not wanting her relationship with Spike to interfere with her friends' lives, and she certainly didn't want any of her decisions to screw up Willow's relationship with Oz.

"He's fine with it. We talked about it at the Bronze last night. He's totally cool."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good."

"See you guys at the Bronze, eight o'clock?"

"I'll be there. Thanks, Wills."

At seven thirty, Buffy finished her make-up and put on the black dress and leather jacket that she had picked out for tonight. She hadn't really thought about it before, but this would be like double-dating with willow. She wanted to make sure she looked alright. After an hour of trying to figure out which outfit to wear, she decided on the black. She pulled her hair up into a clip and put the finishing touches on her lipstick. Buffy grabbed her purse and walked downstairs.

Spike was sitting in the living room watching Friends when Buffy walked downstairs. Wanting to see what was happening between Ross and Rachel, Spike did not even turn his head at first. Buffy moved closer to him, and in the corner of his eye he caught the sight of her dress—or rather, the length of it, which was giving him a pretty nice view of her legs. He stifled a gasp.

"My God," he breathed. Buffy blushed slightly.

Spike stood up, not taking his eyes off Buffy. _She wore this to go out with **me? **_

Buffy stood still, not knowing whether to go toward him or retreat in fear. Spike cupped her face in his hand. He had to restrain himself from pulling her towards him and kissing her; instead, he pulled back.

"You look beautiful, love," he said.

"Thank you."

Joyce walked in and noticed the tension between the couple, smiling slightly. She cleared her throat.

"You all ready to go?"

Buffy and Spike tore their eyes away from each other with some difficulty.

"Yeah Mom," Buffy said, still blushing slightly at Spike's reaction to her. "We're all set."

"Alright. Be careful."

Spike walked to the door and held it open for Buffy. She stared at him for a moment before walking through it. _Was Spike just being a gentleman? Whoa._

"See you, Joyce," Spike said, walking out the door.

"Have a nice night you two," Joyce replied. She watched them walk out the door with a small grin on her face.

_She better keep him_, she thought.

Willow waved to Spike and Buffy from her table when she saw them walk into the Bronze. Willow noticed immediately that Buffy had tried harder than normal to look perfect. She also could not help but notice how Spike looked at her; as though he had just met a god.

Buffy and Spike sat down at the table. "Hey, Wills. Hey, Oz." Oz simply nodded at Buffy in acknowledgement. She wasn't too worried; for Oz, it was nothing out of the ordinary for him not to greet her with words.

"How's school?" Buffy asked Willow, attempting to keep conversation rolling.

"Fine. Snyder's still a big dummyhead, but other than that, same old stuff. No demons coming out of the library lately or anything, though."

Buffy smiled. "I think we can count that as a 'yay' thing, Will."

Suddenly the band started up a new song, and Willow's eyes lit up. "Ohh, come on, we have to dance to this one!" Willow got up and pulled Oz onto the dance floor. Buffy looked over at Spike.

"You want to?" she asked.

Spike nodded. "Yeah, pet. Come on."

He took her hand and led her out by Willow and Oz, dancing with her. Spike began to feel nervous now; he was seriously trespassing on her personal space, something he tried to never do. However, Buffy didn't seem to mind. How was he supposed to keep himself away from her if she wouldn't let him? No other female had ever brought out these emotions in him before. He had never really worried about Drusilla's feelings so much. Dru had been very outgoing in her feelings towards him, and had been a bit of a masochist. With Buffy he treated her as if she were a porcelain doll, about to break at any moment. He didn't see how he was ever going to be around her without worrying about her constantly.

Right now, however, Spike just tried to forget about all of that, dancing with Buffy and watching her face light up in joy. He knew that her expression right then would not be something he would forget easily.

The song ended, and Buffy motioned toward Willow and Oz, who were going back to the table to sit down.

"I'm gonna go get a drink. You want something?" Oz asked Willow.

"Sprite, please," Willow said to Oz gratefully.

Spike looked down at Buffy. "You want something, pet?"

"Uh, yeah. Just a coke, please." Buffy pulled out her wallet and started to pull out a few dollar bills, only to turn and see Spike waking away already. She shrugged and put he wallet back into her purse; she'd give Spike the money back later.

Willow looked at the two guys before turning back to Buffy.

"Okay missy, I don't have much time. We gotta talk," Willow said bluntly. Buffy looked taken aback.

"What about?"

Willow sighed. This could be difficult. "How do you feel about spike?"

Now Buffy was really surprised. "About Spike?" Willow nodded.

"I don't know. He's . . . I guess he's my friend. He and I have been through some stuff. Neither of us want anything serious." _Not entirely true_, Buffy thought.

Willow rolled her eyes. "You know Buffy, you really exasperate me sometimes. Hasn't he told you he loves you?" Buffy gulped. How did she know that?

"Yeah, but . . . I mean, this is Spike!" Buffy exclaimed. She refused to tell Willow how much she wanted Spike to care about her the way she cared about him. Unfortunately, she didn't know whether or not she could trust Spike, no matter how much he had done for her. She had just gotten out of a rocky relationship; she didn't want to have to go through another one.

"Buffy, look at him," Willow said gently. Buffy did turn around and look. She saw Spike, notorious vampire, standing in line at the Bronze to get her a Coke. She turned back to face Willow.

"He loves you," Willow said softly. Buffy felt the tears well up in her eyes, and she fought them.

"I don't know how to do this, Wills."

"I've seen how he is with you. He's as scared as you are. And as much as it surprises me, I honestly don't think he's going to hurt you. He's afraid to."

Buffy thought about that. It certainly would explain why he was so distant with her.

"He hasn't said he loves me since we left L.A. . ."

Willow groaned. "In the state that you're in, would **you** have said something like that to someone? He's scared."

Buffy unconsciously held her breath as realization struck her. Willow smiled. _Now she gets it . . . _

Buffy rose from her seat and hugged her best friend.

"Thank you." Buffy pulled back. "When did you become the love doctor anyway?"

"Don't need to be a doctor to see that you two oblivious idiots are in love with each other. Speaking of which . . ."

Buffy turned to see their dates walking towards them, Spike carrying a Budweiser and a Coke. Buffy smiled as she saw Spike paying careful attention to her soda so that it wouldn't spill.

Spike set the Coke in front of her on a napkin. "Here you are, love."

"Thank you, Spike."

Another song started playing, much more slowly than the one before it. Buffy looked up at Spike shyly.

"Wanna dance with me?" she asked him. Spike looked at Buffy curiously, nodding. They got up from the table and walked out onto the dance floor, Buffy putting her arms around Spike's neck as she slow-danced with him.

"Thank you," Buffy said, "for being here with me. I don't tell you that often enough."

"Welcome, love," Spike answered, wondering what had come over her. It struck him how nervous she looked. _ What did those two birds talk about while I was getting drinks anyway?_

They danced fro a while, neither of them brave enough to say anything. Spike decided to bite the bullet.

"I'm here for you anytime you need me, love," Spike said, looking straight into her eyes. Buffy couldn't bring herself to look away from his bright blue eyes. "I love you."

Suddenly Buffy brought him closer and kissed him hard. Spike felt his eyes widen, then he kissed her back. They broke apart a few seconds later, staring at each other.

"I love you," Buffy said.

Spike kissed her again. Then he pulled back and smiled slightly.

Across the dance floor, Willow looked at Oz and smirked.

"Told ya so," she said.

A/N: So sorry you guys had to wait this long . . . I'm working on chapter eight now, and it should be up in a few days. PLEASE review!


	8. Unexpected Guest

Disclaimer: Why must you continue to torture me? I OWN NOTHING. STOP RUBBING IT IN. lol

A/N: Alrighty, chapter eight! There will only be one, possibly two more chapters after this. Trying to work on them more frequently now, but it's difficult what with this whole law where I have to go to school and everything; it tends to cut down on my computer time. Working as hard as I can though. As usual, please read and review (and don't be afraid to tell me if you don't like something, guys; even bad reviews are helpful!)

For the next week, Spike and Buffy were more open with each other than ever. They were inseparable. Joyce constantly made jokes about how she should pay for Buffy to get surgery done to remove Spike from her hip, although Spike understood that it was just a joke. Two days after Buffy and Spike had gone on their 'date', Joyce had pulled him aside to talk to him.

"Do you love Buffy?" Joyce had said, looking Spike squarely in the eye. Spike was reminded of a program he had seen on the Discovery Channel about a lioness defending her young. Joyce had the same look about her.

"I love her, Joyce. I'd die for her."

Joyce seemed to accept this answer. "She loves you too, you know. I can see it in her. She just doesn't show it so easily any more." Joyce had lost the ferocity in her features, and was now talking to him as though they were discussing the weather.

"I know that," Spike had said. "I try so hard to make her understand that I'm not gonna hurt her, an' she just won't let me in sometimes."

"Give her time." Joyce looked sympathetically at Spike. "Just treat her right."

Now, Spike, Buffy and Joyce were all sitting at the kitchen table eating pancakes and laughing at a story Joyce had told about something that had happened at the gallery where Joyce worked.

"By the way, Buffy . . . isn't Willow's birthday tomorrow?" Joyce asked, scooping another pancake onto Spike's plate. Buffy hadn't failed to notice how Joyce seemed to pay more attention to Spike's empty plate than she did to Buffy's. _Not sure I like this whole_ '_Mom accepting Spike thing' after all . . ._

"Yeah, and I'm a nervous wreck," Buffy said. "Xander is gonna be there, and I don't know how I'm going to deal with him. He won't listen to Willow whenever she brings up the subject of me and Spike, and I haven't spoke to him in about two weeks."

"Why should it matter who you see to Xander?" Joyce asked, annoyed. Spike smiled; he loved it when she defended him.

"He's overprotective, I guess," Buffy said, sighing.

"Well, you could always simply not go to Willow's party," Joyce said. Buffy shook her head.

"I can't do that to her! She's my best friend. It wouldn't be fair to ditch her just 'cause I'm a big chicken." Buffy looked over at Spike. "Unless you really don't wanna go."

"No, we'll go, love," Spike said. He couldn't tell her that he didn't want to go, although he really didn't feel like dealing with the whelp. He could tell that she really wanted to see her best friend on her birthday—and far be it for him to deny his girl anything. Buffy got up and hugged him.

"Thank you."

"No problem, baby."

The next day, Buffy almost wished Spike had said he didn't want to go. She was a train wreck, and although she had already bough Willow's birthday present, she was debating whether or not to play sick.

Spike, sensing this, put his arms around Buffy's waist as she was picking out clothing to wear.

"You okay, pet?" he asked worriedly.

Buffy sighed. "I'm not sure I wanna do this."

"What are you gonna do, just avoid him for the rest of your life?"

Buffy looked up at him hopefully. "You think I can do that?" Spike looked at her disapprovingly. Buffy sighed again. "I know, I know . . ."

Spike kissed the top of her head. "You'll be fine."

Spike walked out of the bedroom to let Buffy get dressed, still worrying about her. He hated it when she got upset.

Buffy came downstairs a half an hour later, dressed in blue jeans and a nice blouse, still looking nervous. Spike walked over to her and hugged her. "You'll be fine."

Buffy called up to her mother. "Mom, we're leaving. See you later!" she yelled. She and Spike walked out of the house, Buffy tucking a stake onto the back of her pants.

Willow saw Buffy and Spike walk into the Bronze, where she was having her party. She smiled knowingly when she noticed that Spike had his arm around Buffy's waist. She waved her arms to let them know where she was. They walked over to her.

"For you, m'lady," Buffy said, handing Willow her wrapped birthday present.

"Ooh, thanks Buff," Willow said, placing the gift on top of the others on a nearby table.

"Happy birthday, Red," Spike said.

Buffy looked around her at the other people standing near them; it was just as Buffy had expected. To be perfectly honest, Willow had never had that many friends, so there were few people at the party, and Buffy knew all of them. There was Oz, of course, sitting near Willow and yet somehow distancing himself from everyone else at the table. Giles was also at the party, at the bar getting himself a Coke. He waved at Buffy when he saw her, holding up a finger to signal that he would be there momentarily. Cordelia was there as well. She had obviously seen Buffy come in and at the moment was attempting to ignore her (though Buffy knew that wouldn't last long, Cordelia being as outspoken as she was). Near Cordy, of course, was Xander.

Buffy attempted not to look at Xander very much; she knew if she did she was going to break down. Instead she walked over to Giles, Spike following in her wake. She and Giles struck up meaningless chit-chat about a crossbow that Giles had gotten and listened to Spike retell his dealings with crossbows (Buffy tried not to flinch as she imagined Spike with a crossbow bolt sticking out of his ribs as he told her one particular story). The conversation died down as Oz banged on his glass with a fork to attain silence. A large birthday cake was brought out, and everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' to a jovial Willow. She blew out the candles and everyone applauded.

"Thanks you guys," Willow said to the group of people standing around her. "I just want to thank everyone for being here, Xander and Cordelia, and Giles, and Buffy and Spike—"

"And that's such a joy," Xander spat out. Buffy whipped her head around to stare at Xander coldly.

"Do you have something to say, Xander? 'Cause really, just say it."

"Alright," Xander said, walking around to stand in front of Buffy. "I'll say it. Do you really think any of us wantthe undead wonder here to celebrate the birth of one of our friends?" Buffy opened up her mouth to retort, as Spike went to move around Buffy to confront Xander.

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone froze. Buffy looked over to see a pissed-off looking Willow Rosenberg.

"Everyone just be quiet," Willow said more calmly. "It's my birthday. No more arguing. Xander, I invited them to celebrate my birthday. This is Buffy we're talking about here. If you can't deal—"

"Don't worry about it. I'm gone," Xander said, pushing through the crowd. Cordelia followed him out after giving Buffy and Spike a look. Buffy bit her lip in a attempt not to cry. She turned to Willow.

"Wills, I am so sorry. I can leave if you want me to . . ."

Willow shook her head. "No, I want you here. Don't worry about them. I invited you guys. You stay." Buffy nodded gratefully.

"He'll come around soon enough Buffy," Giles said, handing her a plate with a slice of cake on it. "Cheer up."

"Thanks, Giles."

Buffy walked out with the rest of her friends a few hours later, feeling slightly better. The rest of the night had gone along enjoyably; they had eaten the cake and opened presents (Willow's face lit up when she saw the green cashmere sweater Buffy had bought for her), and danced for a little while (after persuading Giles that the electric slide was not as cool as it was when he was younger). At one o'clock, however, everyone was getting slightly worn out, and they decided to leave.

Thinking of nothing but climbing into her bed to get some sleep, Buffy was slightly surprised to see Xander barreling down the street looking not angry with her, but frightened.

"Buffy . . . . I just saw . . . it was huge . . ." Xander was out of breath and panting as he tried to explain what was going on.

"Deep breaths, Xander," Giles said. "What's happened?"

Xander breathed for a few seconds, gulping air into his lungs. "Huge monster. It was attacking a woman when I found it; I was walking down the street after going to the liquor store. No," he said, off of their looks, "I haven't had anything to drink yet. I can't possibly be drunk."

"Where is this monster now?" Buffy asked him. Suddenly, she heard a scream and saw a massive demon, easily twenty feet tall, waking down the street, roaring.

"Never mind."


	9. Beastie

Disclaimer: I own nothing! All characters belong to Joss Whedon.

A/N: Reviews, please!

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Spike's eyes widened at the site of the huge demon. It was at least twenty feet tall, with feet like a donkeys. The demon was a sickly greenish color, and definitely mean looking. It looked down at the group of people under its hooved feet and let out a shrill scream; Spike noticed the incredibly sharp teeth. It swept back its massive arm and swung it at the group, who all dodged and ran for cover.

_Oh shit_, Spike thought.

Buffy ran over to a wall and picked up a Dumpster, flinging it at the demon's leg. When the Dumpster hit, the demon looked down at the offensive object. It looked back up at Buffy and snarled, staggering toward her with its arm raised again. Buffy ducked and rolled away quickly, coming back up and searching for something with which to kill the demon.

"It's an Empousa," Spike shouted to her over the calls of the demon. "Eats human flesh."

"That's very interesting," Buffy screamed from thirty feet away. "Now how in the hell do I kill it?"

"Burn it!"

Buffy stabbed the demon with her stake, jamming the small piece of wood onto the Empousa's heel. When the demon roared, Buffy took the moment to stare at Spike in exasperation.

"Burn it with what, exactly?"

Spike rolled his eyes, tugging his silver Zippo out of his pocket and tossing it to Buffy. She caught it and turned around. The demon swing its arm at Buffy, finally connecting and sending Buffy flying back into a wall.

"Buffy!" Xander yelled, running towards her. The demon saw him coming and took a swing at him. Xander swerved out of the way, narrowly escaping without a concussion.

Spike took the opportunity to run over to Buffy while the Empousa was distracted. He reached Buffy, gently lifting her head off of the pavement.

"Love?" he asked worriedly.

Buffy blinked, shaking her head slightly. _What's up with the stars?_ She looked up and saw Spike, and remembered what had happened.

"Strong little buggers, aren't they?" Spike asked, chuckling. Buffy laughed, taking Spike's hand to stand up. Buffy glanced over at Xander, who was now backed into a corner and looking pretty bad. She and Spike turned back to the demon, standing in fighting positions.

"Distract it?" Buffy muttered to Spike.

Spike nodded. "Right." He started to run to the right, stopping right behind the demon.

"OI!" he yelled. The Empousa turned around, confused. It saw Spike and realized that he was an enemy, and turned away from Xander to attack the new target. Spike was very quick, moving around enough so that the Empousa would stay facing him and not look at Buffy, who was approaching the demon after seeing to Xander (who had survived, miraculously, with only a broken arm and a few bumps and bruises). She stopped next to the demons foot and flipped open the lighter, and held it to the demon's foot. It swiftly caught on fire, and it took the Empousa a few moments before it realized that it was burning.

The Empousa stomped around quite a bit, attepting to put out the fire. By then, the orange flames had spread up the demon's entire leg. It continued to stamp along the ground, kicking Spike out of the way and trampling him. Buffy gasped as Spike collapsed to the ground Willow and Giles ran over behind the demon and picked Spike up, Willow grabbing his legs and Giles lifting him by the arms. They pulled him over to the opposite side of the alley.

The Empousa was still shrieking madly as the flames enveloped its shoulders and neck. The fire reached the top of its head and the demon's skin began to crumble away, leaving only ash. No sign of the huge monster was left behind.

Buffy ran over to Xander and lifted him bodily from the ground, carrying him over to the rest of her friends and placing him on the concrete.

"I think he's alright," Buffy said to a very concerned looking Willow. She knelt down next to Spike, concern marring her features. Spike pried open his eyes to look into hers, touched by the distress he saw in her face. He grinned slightly.

"Didn't we just do this?" he asked, gesturing to the bruise that had formed on her right cheek.

"Well, if you had the slightest idea what you were doing half the time, you wouldn't have gotten hurt and we wouldn't be standing here," Buffy retorted.

"Hey! Not fair, love. That bugger was tough. I seem to recall him knocking **you **on your ass."

Buffy pouted. "You're older. You should be more experienced."

"Alright, can't we just be grateful that we can continue to grow older?" Willow requested as Spike opened his mouth to snap back at Buffy.

Xander's eyes fluttered open. He blinked and sat up quickly, clutching his head.

"You okay, Xand?" Willow asked, worried. Xander moaned slightly. He looked around him at his surroundings, obviously slightly confused.

"What the hell happened?" he asked. Giles and Willow exchanged glances, clearly concerned at their friend's behavior.

"Remember, Xander? Big demon? Knocked you on your butt?" Willow asked.

Xander seemed to be remembering what had happened. He looked at his disfigured arm.

"Damn. That's gonna hurt big time." Everyone chuckled slightly, glad that Xander was getting over his slight case of amnesia.

"We should get him to a hospital right away," Giles said, standing up. Everyone else followed his lead.

"I really do need to call my mom at some point. She's been on this whole worry-wart kick since she found out I'm the Slayer," Buffy said as she helped Spike up off the ground.

"Understandable, really," Giles said. "She's simply trying to figure out where she fits into this part in your life. The thing she knows how to do best is mother you."

"Could she possibly do it in a less annoying way?" Buffy asked.

"Of course not."

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A/N: Sorry it's taken so long!! Anyway, I know this was short . .. it was originally part of the next chapter, but the two parts just didn't mesh, so now you get two really short chapters.

Reviews please!


	10. Understanding

Disclaimer: Again, I own NOTHING.

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Three hours later, the gang was sitting in a hospital room next to Xander. His arm had been put in a cast(after telling the hospital personel that they had gotten into a minor car accident), and Joyce was on her way to the hospital to take Willow, Buffy and Spike back to their houses. Xander had called his parents and was anxiously awaiting their critisism.

"Hey, Cordelia made it back to her house before you found us earlier, right?" Buffy asked Xander, thinking about Xander's girlfriend for the first time in the midst of everything that had happened that evening.

Xander nodded. "Yeah, she got sick of my bitching and went home. I called her earlier though; she'll be by my house tomorrow to see me." He remembered how much he had annoyed Cordelia earlier that night; she had gotten sick of him going on about Buffy and her problems instead of worrying about his girlfriend. She had left after about twenty minutes.

Buffy remembered the fight that she and Xander had gotten into when he had left the Bronze. No one had mentioned it thus far, and she wasn't sure how to bring it up. Was Spike really worth losing a friendship with Xander?

_Yes_, her mind said fiercely. _No one has treated me better than Spike has. I love him too_ _much to let him go now. I don't care what Xander thinks_. She and Spike had been through too much together to split up over petty thinks like whether or not Xander liked or approved of Spike. He wasn't her father. And if he were really her friend, he would accept Buffy's decisions about who she hung around. Or so she kept telling herself . . .

At that moment, Joyce walked into the room. "Oh my God," she breathed quietly as she walked over to Buffy, examining the cuts and scrapes across her forehead.

"I'm fine, Mom,' Buffy said, brushing her mother's fingers away from her face. "Xander's pretty beat up, but other than that the rest of us are fine."

"That's good." Joyce walked over to the bed on which Xander was lying, observing his arm.. "I brought you some cookies," Joyce said, holding out a Tupperware bowl full of chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies that she had baked the day before. She smacked Buffy's hand away as she tried to snatch a pean8t butter cookie out of the bowl.

"Thanks, Mrs. Summers," Xander said, picking up a chocolate chip cookie as Buffy eyed him jealously.

"Oh, I saw the Harrises, they're on their way up to see Xander," Joyce said.

Buffy looked over at Willow and Giles. "Better go prepare them." Willow and Giles nodded, following her out. Joyce smiled at Xander and walked out of the room to assist Buffy.

Spike and Xander were left in the room together, alone. With no one else to talk to, Spike felt very awkward. Judging from the look on Xander's face, he was thinking the same thing. They sat in silence for a few more moments before Xander opened his mouth to speak.

"Spike—"

"Don't even bother," Spike interjected, slightly annoyed. "It's quite bloody obvious what you think of me and Buffy. And frankly, I don't give a damn what you think about my being with her. I'm there until she tells me to leave." Spike felt himself growing angry again. How many times did this git have to tell him how much he hates him?

"Will you let me finish for once, Deadboy?" Xander snarled. He sat up straight so that he could look at Spike in the eyes.

_Have to admire the boy's bravery, at least_, Spike thought.

"I was going to say," Xander continued, "that I . . . I'm happy you and Buffy are together."

Spike's chin figuratively hit the floor. **_WHAT?_**

Xander sighed, clearly not liking this. "I saw what you did for her today. I don't think I've ever seen Buffy so happy as when she's with you, either." He paused, not sure of how to proceed.

"Sorry,' he added grudgingly.

Spike grinned. It was about bloody time, too.

"No problem, mate," he said, still smiling. "Glad we could come to an understanding."

Xander scowled. "Don't think this means I like you or anything. I still hate your guts."

Spike was still smirking when Buffy and her friends, along with Xander's parents, walked in the door. Buffy noticed immediately that Xander and Spike seemed to be getting along better.

"What happened?" she muttered to Spike.

"Later, love," Spike said, grinning.

Xander's parents didn't seem to care very much that Xander's arm was broken; they just wanted to know if they were going to have to replace anyone's car (the story was that Xander was driving Giles' car). Giles assured them they wouldn't. The Harrises were much more friendly after that. An hour later, everyone left the hospital, Willow, Spike and Buffy all piling into Joyce's car to go to Buffy's house (there was no **way** Willowwas walking into her parent's house at four in the morning).

As they were walking to Joyce's Jeep, Willow turned to Buffy.

"Told you Xander would come around," she said smugly.

"Yeah, yeah . . ."


	11. Epilogue: Acceptance

Disclaimer: Okay, in case you havn't read all the disclaimers before, I own NOTHING.

A/N: Okay . . . THIS IS IT! Last thing I write for this story. This isn't so much a chapter as it is an epilogue, and it will be **short**. Review as always, please.

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Spike and Buffy sat on Buffy's bed, watching Passions and painting their fingernails. The room looked slightly different than it had five weeks ago; there were CDs all over the desk, the closet suddenly had a lot more black clothing in it, and there were a few empty bourbon bottles sitting on the floor next to the bed. Buffy, who was usually neat about her bedroom, did not mind in the slightest about the clutter that had taken over her once-tidy bedroom. It meant that Spike really lived there—a good thing, in Buffy's book.

Things had gotten much better since Spike and Xander had had their little heart-to-heart—which Xander claims never happened, for fear that Buffy and Willow might think he was actually civil to a vampire (boys . . .). The group—Buffy, Spike, Willow, Xander, Oz, and Cordelia even—routinely hung out at the Bronze together. Spike and Buffy patrolled every night, never staking fewer than five vampires a night. They got along great.

Joyce, of course, was ecstatic about the fact that Spike lived in her house. She confided to him one night that she was very grateful that he was here; he was able to keep Buffy safe when she went out hunting for vampires, and was occasionally able to help Buffy with her History homework.

Spike, of course, had kept his promise to Buffy not to kill humans, and instead got blood from the butcher.

Passions ended, and Spike looked over at Buffy, feeling his heart swell. _God, I'm lucky._

He had never felt this way about any other woman before in his life, not even when he was human. Angelus had been right; Buffy had the ability to make you feel human again. And Spike wasn't complaining.

Something was still bothering Spike. He and Buffy spent so much time together. Yet he still felt sligtly distanced from her—like she was still trying to keep herself from getting hurt. It was killing him.

He decided in that moment to fix that.

"I love you," he said to buffy suddenly, startling her.

_What? Where did that come from? _Buffy stayed silent, but looked into his face. She sawtruth in his deep blue eyes. He loved her.

"I'm not asking you to love me back," Spike said, trying not to let her see how much she was killing him with her silence. "I just want you to know that."

Spike picked up the television remote and flipped the channel, wishing he could make Buffy love him.

"I love you too," he heard her say softly. He turned around slowly, staring at her.

"What?" he said, disbeliving. Buffy bit her lower lip, debating.

_Am I ready for this? Am I ready to have another relationship?_

_What do you think you have now? _said the voice in the back of her head._ If you don't tell him how you feel you might lose him. _

"I said I love you," she repeated, feeling more bold.

Spike suddenly realized why people said that they fely butterflies in their stomachs when they were in love. They were either butterflies, or he was going to throw up. His stomach flip-flopped around and he felt like getting up and dancing.

_She **does** love me!_

Spike scooted closer to Buffy on the bed and pulled her closer. Then he kissed her, with more passion than he had ever kissed anyone. They broke away a few moments later, Buffy gasping for breath.

"Wow," she mummbled. Spike chuckled under his breath. Then he became seroius.

"There is no one on this earth,' he said, staring at Buffy intently, "who I would rather spend my life with than you."

Buffy felt a tear leak out of her eye. She quickly wiped it away. She knew what she wanted to do next, but she was afraid. She remembered how good it felt to say what she wanted to say before, and decided to take another leap, regardless of the consequenses.

"Marry me?" she said softly.

Spike's eyebrows shot up. _What?_

He started to grin. "Of course love." He kissed her again.

Joyse crept away from the door quietly, giving Buffy and Spike some privacy. She went to find the phone book to look for somewhere to get wedding dresses.

_This should be interesting_, she thought.

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A/N: THAT'S IT! I would like to take this time to thatnk everyone who reviewed; you guys really are the only thing that kept me going. Review again, please, and let me know what you thought.

Sequel upon request only; I have an idea for a sequel, but it all depends on the reviews of **this** story.


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